“The Five Secrets to a Great Relationship:

1. It’s important to find a man who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable, respectful and doesn’t lie.
4. It is important to find a man who is good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.
5. It is important that these four men never meet.”

-The Naked Jape