Love.

Such a wonderful feeling, so enjoyable to roll around in, to wrap around yourself, to wallow in. But often given and not returned, and whether you choose to ignore a lack of reciprocation or you stare it in the face, it will hurt like buggery eventually.

I am in love. Lovely isn’t it? But I will not pretend that I haven’t been in love before, that I haven’t fallen in love with many different people over the years with varying degrees of success. That’s not to say that this love is meaningless either, it means a great deal to me and I’m enjoying it immensely.

He said it first, in a casual throw-away comment, and interestingly enough later said that he didn’t want to say ‘a certain word for all the pain and complication it can often generate.’ Fair enough. Perhaps the earlier statement had been subconsciously thrown in, perhaps he regretted it and was covering himself, whatever the reason, I’m not a tit for tat girl so didn’t feel the need to hold back my declaration.

I’m fairly confident of his love in return, though I don’t take it for granted by any stretch. Yet. I do have a tendency to do that so eyes peeled for warning signs! He says it rarely, but when he does it makes me feel incredible, like when he wrapped my shivering body in a towel on a beach in Wales as the sun began to set and whispered “I love you” in my ear – how could a girl not melt on the spot?

There’s no escaping that the first flushes of love are warm and silky, and can easily cool with time, we’ll just have to see how that evolves and enjoy the feeling of right now like warm mud between your toes.