Getting ready to meet Dateboy along with some other friends for drinks a couple of weeks ago I found myself feeling pretty damn frisky. I preened and primped, put on some damn nice underwear and a pretty dress and prepared to seduce. Only to get a message saying that he wasn’t going to make it after all! “Well!” thought I, “I’d hate to waste all this effort now, and I really am in the mood for getting my own way…”
I’m still trying (and currently succeeding!) to not sleep with Iain again and I knew this turn of events would test that. Luckily, halfway through the evening I decided that I was happy enough to not get laid that evening, I was having a good time and I would certainly walk home alone straight past Iain’s house later rather than opt for the ultimately disappointing yet available liaison.
And of course, once I had made that decision, the universe conspired to throw me off track with the appearance of Dino. Let’s have a quick bit of background for Dino shall we? Currently kipping at a close friends house in one of the longest running ‘temporary arrangements’ I’ve ever seen, he’s been single for all of a month after his wife of 9 years left him for being useless. Sounds like a catch, right? No? Hmmm. He of course has his plus points: he’s an adorable man, cheeky, funny and instantly endearing. I’ve known Dino for a quite a long time, and it’s not unusual for us to flirt to a certain degree, though something seemed different this evening. Maybe it was because I was basically on heat, maybe it was just long enough since his wife left him to actually contemplate another woman in that way, or maybe it was our mutual friend trying to set us up. Either way, at 4am he took my hand and led me upstairs to bed.
Feeling our naked bodies pressed together was really quite delicious and small gentle kisses soon became urgent and hungry. A heroic level of drinking meant that sadly he wasn’t ‘up’ to much but he certainly made up for that with his tongue and fingers! Earlier in the evening my friend had asked me if I liked Dino and I had responded that he was far too much of a nice boy for me. I’m unsure if my friend relayed this information but I had my suppositions mildly challenged as while his tongue was buried inside me I was surprised by a couple of evil slaps to the inner thigh. It was all thoroughly enjoyable.
Waking in the morning I rolled over to see Dino lying on the other side of the bed with his back facing me. Thinking over what had happened the previous night I started to feel bad for him. Suddenly I was convinced that he would be massively regretting what he’d done, missing his wife and never want to face me again. As I lay there figuring out the best way to sneak out he stirred and turned over, broke into a massive warm smile and wrapped his arm around me.
Now why had I assumed the worst possible scenario? What is wrong with me that I would assume someone would be horrified to wake up next to me? Despite Dino’s protestations I did eventually get up and drag myself to work but my reaction was something that I dwelt on for quite some time. Speaking to my friend Keelin about it he proposed that I needed to put some serious effort into rekindling my self-worth and although he never thought he’d say this to anyone, I “need to become more of a princess.” A separate friend confirmed the same thing, and pointed out that my previous relationship had been quite damaging to me on that front. Being with a man for so long that was almost physically incapable of telling me I was loved or precious seems to have had a bit of a lasting effect.
Dino and I have met a few times since, he’s excellent for cuddles and beautiful kisses and it turns out the main feature was well worth waiting for as his cock is just the right side of huge. Lucky me! He is useless though, and going through a tough time of trying to get his life back on track and his own place. I’m ready for this though, and not getting involved even remotely. I learned my lesson from my last boyfriend and I certainly don’t need a child to look after – I’m in this for the thrills!
The princessy element is something I’m definitely spending some thinking time on. Recently a trip to a local bar with Dino and another friend turned into a nightmare of fending off clumsy passes from men who thought they had the right to invade my space or pinch my arse. And I let this happen. Reflecting on my lack of vocal indignation at this disrespect I started thinking about whether I deserve it, or if anyone does. Perhaps because I am comfortable talking about sex, and reasonably promiscuous I sacrifice the right to being treated like a lady. Perhaps I am too much of a slut to have any worth.
Bollocks. It’s this type of thinking that perpetuates the problem. I am hardly indiscriminate with my choices and my high sex drive does not make it ok for people to assume an entitlement to my body. So from now on I will be fighting my corner and being a bit more vocal about demanding respect. Wish me luck!